"What the Sam Hill are you doing???"

That's one of my favorite lines in "To Kill a Mockingbird." Even though she sometimes spoke before she "thunk," Scout Finch always seemed to have no problem expressing herself...and it always (at least in her mind) seemed to be for the common good.

I could learn a lesson from her. Sometimes the "Cecil Jacobses" in my life just get me so riled up, I want to meet them out on the playground and beat the livin' tar outta' them. It almost happened yesterday at one of my regular staff meetings. I finally couldn't take it any longer and "What the Sam Hill-ed" the conversation at hand. Just brought it to a complete stop. Well, they made me angry! I told them what they were talking about was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen or heard -- in fact, it was just plain hurtful, and I didn't agree with it one bit. Just like the kitchen table scene from the movie, everyone froze for a second, as I felt my face warming and tears beginning to fill my eyes after my exclamation. Thanks to my own "Atticus" (and you know who you are), later, I was able to calm down and make it through the day.

But as I get older, I see more things like young Scout. Things that just don't make sense. Things that are downright ugly. And I find myself saying, "What the Sam Hill are you doing?" or just wanting to tackle them on the playground and beat some sense into them.

Lately I realized that there are a few of my musician friends who are willing to take time out of their own busy schedules to go support other musicians in their efforts. But is the favor returned? Heck, no. They just keep promoting their own best interests. Always gotta have the biggest, bestest show, always gotta have the first, longest solo... and heaven forbid someone who actually wants to grow and learn asks to join in with them..! When music becomes a competition -- a battle of the egoes, it's lost its true essence -- forgive me for asking, but isn't music the stuff that is supposed to bring us together and put us all on the same page? And the most hurtful thing is that some of these people were the same ones who re-ignited my interest in music and singing a few years ago... so what happened to them? What the Sam Hill are you doing????

Oh, I could go on and on, but my lunch hour's almost at an end. I need to brush the playground dirt off my dress, wipe the dust off my hands, and get back to work.

Thank you, Miss Jean Louise Finch. You are my inspiration.